WRITTEN BY NZEH UCHE
Unemployment and greed seemed like a norm in this Nation of ours and to actualize my dreams of being a boss in a white collar job, i stay up late most nights writing applications and plotting how to hustle by the day.
My phone rang loudly, snapping me out of my thought with my best of career motivational songs “we making money this year” by Jaywon; It was my guys calling me about a job. I quickly took my towel and dashed into the bathroom. At about 7:24am i carried my bag of application letters and other job requirements and was ready to leave my well designed “batcha” (zinc-house).
“ALONG 50 NAIRA!!! ALONG 50 NAIRA!!! “, a bus conductor in an old rugged bus shouted on top of his voice, as i approached the bustop. It was oddly strange because other buses heading to the same ALONG left their charge rate at the normal price of 70 naira. I headed to the one of 50 naire thinking maybe the bus’ looks made the transport charge a little lesser— and by the way, who does not like things cheap?
I jumped in greeting the two passengers; an older woman and a lady in suit who looked like a job seeker like me already seated as i sat close to the window to be romanced by cool breeze to calm my nerve for the days hustle.
Within few minutes the bus was full and we hit the road. The bus driver turned on the radio for morning news since it was already 8:00am. A female voice aired, reading top stories. “Driver turn that noise off please,” the older lady said in disgust, leaving the entire bus perplexed. “Our politicians don’t care about any of us, all they care is flying abroad but would never come back with their innovations.” She added.
Her statements stirred up heated arguments in the bus as many agreed with her while others disagreed.
The arguments started cooling off at about 8:11am when it dawned on most passengers that the route the driver was taking was not the right one. But as one passenger objected, the conductor gave him an alarming slap that instilled fear in the entire bus—we didn’t all need a sooth sayer to tell us we had entered the trap of thieves (ONE CHANCE).
The slap was my cue as i quickly opened my bag and brought out three pistols riffles; giving the conductor, older woman, and the employee lady.
“Remove your sim cards and give up all valuables,” I said in a harsh and very loud voice. The passengers obeyed without hesitation.
“Boss where we go drop this group?” The bus conductor asked.
“After we are done collecting our rights,” I replied.
The passengers were dropped off at a bush path as the old rugged bus zoomed off. Me and my team headed to another bustop to pick up new passengers who preferred cheap transport fairs. The day was really fruitful and at its end, we counted our day’s pay and shared accordingly.
BUT WAIT!!!!! WHAT JUST HAPPENED?
Well, let me explain. I have always wanted to lead a small organised group were i will be in charge. Here it is, i am the boss of these small armed men. Our operations are always planned; maybe because I am educated or probably because I am a creative thinker.
THE BUS DRIVER
A local mechanic who was once a god in his field (carburettor engines mechanic) but failed to upgrade as the injector type is phasing carburettor out. I told him about the business and he agreed.
A village boy who ran away from home after impregnating an orange seller and was told to marry her. He did not hesitate to accept my offer.
THE EMPLOYEE LADY
A National Diploma holder but her numerous carry-overs would not let her result be released to her. I told her she could buy herself the latest gadgets and she agreed.
THE OLDER WOMAN
A stubborn woman that refused leaving the city with her retired husband and is willing to stay at all cost. Before i completed stating the offer, she said “yes”
Old scrap my late uncle left for me; what better way is there to utilize such inheritance?
Well, I remember saying I’m a genius. I used their predicaments to get them do my dirty biddings which we all gain from. My problem now is, am not sure if I can call my job a success. Can I?